Candle Lighting Ritual

The candle ritual is a favourite with many couples because it is a simple ceremony that holds powerful visual symbolism. When the couple lights the unity candle, it’s a symbol of the Union that’s been created by the two people who enter into marriage, no longer as two individuals, but as one family unit.

The candle ritual involves the lighting of three candles: one taper candle held by each partner (representing the two separate family candles) and then one centre candle which will stand alone – often on a candle stand – to symbolise the union of your families.

Often, the mothers will light the initial family candles and then the couple will light the unity candle together. However, the choice is up to you; you could have a father, a child, a sibling, a friend… or anyone that means something special to your family light the candles!

Typically, the Unity Candle will be lit immediately after saying your vows. However, at the start of the ceremony is when the individual candles will be lit; perhaps by the mothers or by the children (especially if the wedding is a second marriage).

While the couple lights the Unity Candle, they may choose to have guests sing a song, someone recite a poem, the playing of instrumental music or a meaningful reading in the background.

Your celebrant or wedding officiant will lead the candle-lighting ceremony by introducing and explaining the symbolism of the ritual to your guests. 

The wedding officiant may say something like, “As you commit to each other today, you’re creating a family circle of love. So may you always carry that light within each other, may you nurture and tend to the flame in each other’s hearts as you recognize your continuing importance in each other’s lives.”

If you involve other guests in your unity ritual, the celebrant will invite them to come forward and light the candles, and then invite the couple to come forward and light the Unity candle together, they might say something like “So now, please share the light of your love and solidify the unity of your family.”

Your celebrant will then guide you to place the Unity Candle in a prominent place whilst they guide you through the rest of your ceremony. 

The larger candle can be re-lit on each anniversary of your wedding to commemorate your ceremony and to honour the love and commitment you continue to share.